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why she stays (the progression) she stays because he is so loving when he wants to be she stays as she blocks out the memories of his rages hoping someday he will be who he once was she stays as she goes about her daily routine trying to maintain some level and sense of a normal facade she stays because she was taught 'for better or for worse' even if it means enduring the abuse she stays hoping the next dark moment won't happen for sometime long from now as she tries to hold her family together on her own she stays because he has beaten her independence, individuality and self esteem down to non existent she stays because he controls her mind, her freedom, her life, the money, the car she stays because he has convinced her she deserves the beatings; that she only needs to try harder to please him she stays because she holds on to the blame as hers and hers alone she stays because she is isolated and he is all she has left she stays because she fears the unfamilar more than what she has learned for survival she stays because she doesn't want to drag her kids down an endless trail of uncertainty she stays because it seems easier dealing with the pain than to leave with a sense of shame she stays because to leave and start all over doesn't seem like a viable option she knows if she kicks him out he is psychotic enough to ignore the PFA the present threats are scary enough, but she has learned to cope and keeps false hope she stays because she fears of losing all she has struggled for These are not her excuses; this is her reality I am dealing here mostly with relationships gone bad because it is like an epidemic and most people have to deal with them. Here are some common problems. Soul mates This is a very misunderstood over used word. Often a significant other will say their gf or bf is there soul mate only for them to break up very soon after. If they were truly soul mates they would withstand the test of time. True soul mates have a spiritual connection, understand each other in a way that they do not need to work at making the relationship work, it just does. Soul mates can be any relationship that works. It does not have to be romantically inclined. Soul ties when you can not forgive others your soul is tied to theirs. They go on content with their life while YOU suffer with obsessive thoughts of hatred which creates bitterness. The Bible says whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth is loosed in heaven, Do a study on it. Also Joel Olsteen had a good sermon on the origin of taking offense. Basically the same concept. YOU are taking on an offense as your own. Set yourself free and forgive. Forgiveness doesn't necessary mean forget and trust again. We are to use wisdom. Soul leeching when you allow people to always take advantage of you. We are to do unto others and help others but not to the point that it infringes on your spirit and our walk with the Lord. We are not to enable people or make them co dependent on us. We need to learn balance and wisdom. soul attacthments when others get you going with their flow and distract you from following what God wants. Usually a significant other that you are not equally yoked with that always has you doing what they want, when they want. Even two Christians can be unequally yoked. These are not to be confused with people that you may simply find irratating. Sometimes God will put someone in your life that rubs you the wrong way to reflect that you have something in your personality/attitute that needs worked on. Follow these three steps to keep healthy relationships Keep focused Find balance Check motives Remember it takes two healthy people giving 100% to make a healthy, harmonious relationship
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